Saturday, 7 October 2017

Episode 57 - Speed 2

Jan De Bont's attempt to rock the boat has made us seasick; we're getting to grips with part two of Sequel Season, it's 1997's slow-as-molasses misfire Speed 2: Cruise Control!

We're talking Sandra Bullock's lobotomy between this and Speed 1, whether Willem Dafoe makes a good bad guy, the grindingly slow "action" on screen, and UB40's guest appearance as the whole films runs aground with unlikeable characters, dull set-pieces and more VNP Hall of Famers you can shake a stick at.


Think worse things have happened at sea? You owe it to yourself to hear us talk through this sequel snoozer. 

Saturday, 9 September 2017

Episode 56 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze

Reeking of development hell, Sequel Season finally arrives a whole two months after being announced, and what a doozy we're beginning with, it's 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze!

We get confused and confounded over which Turtle is which, and talk the film's utterly useless antagonists, Splinter's horny side, endless plot points that go nowhere and the glorious return of Vid Neg alum Vanilla Ice and his on-the-spot improv skills with a line-by-line reading of the majesty that is the Ninja Rap!


Also, pro wrestler Kevin Nash's star turn as Super Shredder gets a look in and we reveal the next film as part of the season, one with a whopping 3% on Rotten Tomatoes! Tune in to find out what it is!

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Video Negative x One Good Thing - The Wicker Man '06

The second of this summer's bonus episodes sees Oliver join forces with podcast chums One Good Thing to take on the flash-backing, back-tracking madness of 2006's infamous The Wicker Man!


Nic Cages makes an unwelcome return to the show as we interlock the Director's and Theatrical cuts in an attempt to uncover the one good thing about this crappy cult classic. We're talking the films' endlessly useless plot points, complete dearth of terror or suspense, and the somewhat overstated (and overrated) madness of Nic Cage (which makes up about 2% of this hellishly dull retread of a remake).


Saturday, 29 July 2017

Music Video Negative 2 ft. Aerosmith, Was (Not Was) & Smash Mouth!

Tim's on holiday, so Dan and Ol reconvene for this bonus episode to cover songs/music videos from a few films previously featured on the show. Inspired by our friends That Awful Sound, we're talking Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing (Armageddon), Was Not Was's Walk the Dinosaur (Flintstones & Super Mario Bros) and last but by no means least Smash Mouth's All Star (Inspector Gadget)!

Featured within: Richie Sambora's risque facial hair, Was Not Was's hidden anti-nuclear war agenda and of course, the insane All Star renaissance and accompanying memedom surrounding Smash Mouth's most (in)famous song!

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Episode 55 - Hudson Hawk

We don't know what it is about Bruce Willis films that make us choose to review them, but the Willie Man is back to bless us with his fifth appearance on the show, it's the self-proclaimed "funniest action-adventure comedy ever", 1991's Hudson Hawk.

Pegged as one the decade's worst, we're talking the film's rampant stereotyping and xenophobia, an insanely overcooked and convoluted plot, and perhaps the most ill-conceived rape joke ever.


Also: desperate attempts by ourselves to get a Seagram's Wine Cooler sponsorship, and an ultimatum to never watch a Bruce Willis film on this show again, and we reveal the first film in our brand new season of episodes!

Friday, 23 June 2017

Episode 54 - Pokemon 2000

A wild crappy film appears! With the summer film season in full swing, we revisit the sophomore slump of 1999's Pokemon 2000(?)

We're talking the franchise's waning popularity, the film's insistence on not naming its main villain, lousy dialogue rife with exposition and its decision to not focus on Pikachu. Also: a noble yet pointless comparison to Italian neo-realism, fanboy reviews out the wazoo and a familiar face appears as our next film is revealed.


Big hate in this one. Don't miss it!

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Episode 53 - Inspector Gadget

"Doo-doo-do-do-doo, shit-ty mo-vie". Cool As Ice director David Kellogg returns to helm his second (and final) film as we discuss the 1999 techno-turd hack job Inspector Gadget!

Clocking in at a stunningly short 68 minutes(!), we're talking obvious edits, Robocop comparisons, the Six Dollar Man's ridiculously invasive operation, and reveal what our own Go-Go gadgets would be and where they'd protrude from.


Also, Dan waxes lyrical over his hatred of Jimmy Fallon, we antagonise Smash Mouth via Twitter, and Tim reveals an absolute doozy of a film for our next episode that features some returning...voice actors? Tune in to find out what it is.